This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
