We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
