Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
