all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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