you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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