Plan B is the new Plan A
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
