like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
