my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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