I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
