Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
