when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he was CRYING into my vagina
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
