My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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