Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
