she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
