Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
