just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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