Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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