doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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