are you so shy because you have an std?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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