dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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