I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
