Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
