dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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