Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Randomize
