Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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