Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
