playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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