remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
