no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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