guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When are your genitals available?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
