my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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