Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
