Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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