You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
