So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
