if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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