if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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