Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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