Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
