Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
