I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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