Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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