if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
