I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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