and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
