I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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