at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
