my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
