I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
