He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My ATM looks so different sober.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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