We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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