I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
