Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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