i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
