C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
